Bike Riding After Barbie Butt Surgery
Since lockdown started and then was gradually eased as a family we have been going out and enjoying the miles of countryside that surround where we live. For the last 12 weeks or so we have been going out and about and racking up some foot milage. My daughter has been going out and using her bike during the day as being cooped up is not good for an active 10-year-old. I have my pushbike or lady bike as Ben calls it and occasionally I will pop out for a ride with my daughter but have never done anything as extreme as this weekend just past.
My bike has a lovely gelled seat and protects one’s derriere, alas we loaded up our bikes and headed for Bewl water, 15 minutes in and my chain keeps slipping. Turns out I need a new crankshaft and it’s cheaper for me to get a new bike.
So we had the wise idea of hiring Bikes from Bewl water and head off on our travels.
I am so used to road riding and static spin classes that I really didn’t know what I was just about to let myself in for.
For some unknown reason, I have always had this romanticised notion about bike riding as a couple, there’s me thinking about occasionally brushing hands, grabbing a sneaky kiss and gazing lovingly at Ben’s bottom during a 13 mile trek. How wrong was I?!
Suffice to say that this ride totally ruined any romantic notions about bike riding.
£50 on-chip and pin and handing over my driving license as a deposit, we strapped on our helmets, tested out the bikes, quick toilet stop and off we went, now the first 7k in were absolutely fine, the bike paths were smooth, a few small hills but nothing I couldn’t handle, I persevered, plenty of cackling like a witch going downhills that were like sheer drops and enjoying the bike ride.
What I did not account for was the bike paths that were not smooth, it was like riding over a pebbled beach and my butt was not very forgiving.
To put this into a different light, Ben has a heart attack with me on 4 wheels driving in a car, Myself on two wheels is the equivalent of a baby monkey with no hand-eye coordination. I can’t ride in a straight line, most of my teenage escapades on a bike involved me bush diving, being thrown into brambles, or falling off of pavements out into a road. I can’t stand up and cycle, it’s just dangerous and I don’t feel safe whilst the wheels are moving.
The bike I hired had a seat that was the equivalent of sitting on a concrete brick, by the time we got to 15 K, I admit that I ended up pushing the bike back, I couldn’t take any more, my battered bottom was not enjoying the further pummeling of Bewl waters unsmooth tracks.
Getting back to the car was amusing to say the least, I couldn’t sit down without a pillow under me to ease what felt like two hard boiled eggs sitting at the base of one’s bottom.
I was a wet sweaty mess, it also rained pretty heavily for the last hour, that mixed with sweat I was not a pretty sight. However, my bag and baseplate were still solid, no peeling and as of typing this I am still wearing the same bag.
I am proud that I managed the 13 miles, even happier that it in no way affected my BB scars.
A fair amount of humour induced laughter as myself and Ben walked about like we had aged by 40 years that evening, Maisie’s Dad thinking I had a fall when I collected her from Canterbury. I had to tell him why I was driving a 100 mile round trip on the Princess Pillow. Along with explaining that I was fine and that my rather robotic movements were down to a 22 K bike ride..
13 miles is achievable on a correct bike and seat that’s designed for my boney bottom. I have since learned about BIB shorts that are designed to take the impact of the shocks and bumps whilst riding. So I am looking at purchasing those and attempting the same ride again. I am also in the process of getting another bike that is for me and switching over my gel seat that will help me remain in more relative comfort.
I am now day 2 after the 13 miles and my bottom has just regained feeling. I went out and walked 4 miles last night, will be doing the same today as I have found that it helps to blow off the cobwebs and it is also part of my physiotherapy to help me manage my body due to my recent Fibromyalgia diagnosis.
Cycling after Barbie butt surgery is absolutely fine. Don’t go gun-ho like I did and make sure you have a few things to protect ones bottom prior to going out to play.
A few weeks ago, I also went camping for the first time ever, which was another fun instalment in the adventures of Louise and Bertha. Read about that here.
Many thanks for reading
What is Pan-proctocolectomy surgery and why might you need it? Read Louise’s previous blog post here