Dealing With Negative Comments Online

Happy Halloween my beautiful Witches & Warlocks,

I hope whatever you all have planned it’s something fun considering we didn’t get to celebrate Halloween last year.  Because it’s Halloween, I wanted to use that as a time to talk about some of the monsters roaming about out there. We know them as Trolls. Yes, I have recently been a victim of online trolling and it did hit a nerve for me. I just want to say scars are NOT scary, and my body is not deformed.

Experiencing online trolling

I collab with different brands on Instagram and I had collaborated with one of my favourite clothing brands Meshki. Meshki is a woman’s fashion brand based in Australia. Now one of the items I was sent to create content with was this gorgeous glittery underwear set. Honestly, it’s so beautiful I am obsessed. I created some content for them, and they reposted it onto their page. I had so many amazing positive comments apart from one lady.

This lady commented saying that if she had a tummy like me, she wouldn’t be showing it and that she had unfollowed Meshki for posting content like this, her reason being was because she wants to follow fashion pages not deformed bodies! Yup, you read it right, she did not want to follow a page that represents everybody or show’s that not everybody has a flat, untouched belly. This comment triggered me to the point where I did cry over it.

The reason for me crying was not because of her words because I have built myself up with self-love and acceptance to not let any negative comments get to me but because I instantly thought of all the other women out there with a scar-like mine. I had women commenting on the Meshki post how grateful they were to see somebody representing them and how they wish they had the confidence but fear people saying mean things. It really upset and angered me for those women who were still on their self-love journey and just like that, their 5 steps forward would have been 5 steps back after reading that comment. It’s always the way, no matter how many positive comments you get you always remember the negative ones. Therefore, sometimes it is better never to read the comment section.

Now I understand that this lady commenting on this post putting me another woman down is disgusting but I also think she has a lot of insecurities that she needs to work on. I know she has a self-love journey to go on and I pray that she finds her way. People who lash out at you for no reason are projecting their insecurities onto you to make themselves feel better. Don’t take it personally, just know the issue is not you, it is them.

Normalising scarred bodies

I collab with big brands because we need to make changes, stigmas need to be broken and this is exactly why I do what I do to normalise normal bodies. To normalise scarred bodies. My body is no different to anybody else’s, sure my belly has artwork on it, but she still is a belly.   I just want anybody reading this who get trolled or have been trolled and are having a bad time with it to know that you are beautiful, and you are worthy. Please do not let it stop you from doing what you do and remember to see the change we must work for it we can’t hide away any time a negative comment comes along.

Our scars and our stomas are not deformed, they are damn amazing! Our body can have a piece of our intestine on the outside of our body and keep us alive it’s such a beautiful thing about how strong we as humans can be. Our scars remind us of the journey we have gone through, who we are now and how we are fighters and can battle anything. They are nothing to be ashamed of. I just really wanted to touch base on this.

Therefore, it’s so crucial that more brands use people with bodies like ours on their websites, as ecom models not just 1x campaigns or social media pics it should be so much more than that because that is the only way things can become normalised. There are thousands of women and men out there with scars, stomas, stretch marks etc and they are not seeing themselves being represented on big sites. When I had a stoma and even still now with my scar, I am so funny with certain fits of clothes, now If I saw somebody who looked like me representing and modelling clothes like that I would have such a better idea of how it would look on me, and where it would sit. It’s the little things that would make the big changes for us.

Next month I cannot wait to share with you a little more about the Body confidence shoots I host and how my giveaway winner Jenny from Blackpool got on.

Happy Halloween my lovelies stay safe and whatever you do, do not light the Black Flame candle 😉 (Hocus Pocus)

Natalie-Amber x


Meet the blogger: Natalie-Amber

Meet Natalie-Amber, a model and local BBC Radio Presenter from Swindon.