Sex After Barbie Butt Surgery

Some of you may recall that I posted up and spent time replying to comments across my platforms and several groups back in January. The question I asked at the time was as follows:

“Sex after Barbie butt/ Ken butt surgery ????????????”. Looking for comments to use for a future blog post. If you’ve struggled, haven’t struggled or do a me and just rip the plaster off as they say and “just get back to it.”

I have to say that I was rather amazed at the response and have decided to write this both from my personal perspective along with a few quotes from some ladies and gentlemen that got back to me with their experiences.

Intimacy After Barbie Butt Surgery

I think on a personal level intimacy plays a part in my relationship. Nothing beats a snuggle in the evenings but then leading onto “adult shenanigans” as I call it. But after having rather extensive surgery is there a correct time frame to get back to it?

There is no time frame, it is a case of when you feel ready!

Barbie butt/Ken butt surgery isn’t just a minor operation; for the men, there is a risk of impotence due to surgery and the man’s pelvic area is not as wide as the females.

For the women, the surgery has its risks and due to it being classed as pelvic surgery as well as colorectal. For the ladies, post op healing can possibly hinder the intimate moments for a while with the genitals and rectum being so close together.

My Personal Experience

Having had quite a few surgeries, I always say “you aren’t getting anything out of me for at least six months!” This always brings out a slight laugh but my partner, having lived through two surgeries, is fully aware of what I have had carried out and is respectful that my lady garden is no man’s land until I am fit enough to initiate those adult moments.

With my first ileostomy surgery, I didn’t attempt anything for 7 months but there was mitigating circumstances that I would prefer to not go into due to not having my ex’s consent for this post.

Second ileostomy surgery I was bouncing around like Tigger 4 weeks after so the sex life resumed.

Now 3rd surgery, having been a damn site more extensive than I thought, I was going to be celibate for an extended period of time.

Hahaha, 3 weeks after hospital discharge I thought “lets rip the plaster off”. Not my wisest of ideas and I can say that it was not pleasant and was rather uncomfortable. I will also add, after talking to my recovery nurse about this she gave me a rather stern telling off and said I was committing brutality on a rather sensitive body. I then asked “when is it appropriate to resume sexual activities?” and the nurse explained she was unsure as she had never been asked this by a patient.

Rather than be put off about it being uncomfortable, I just gave it another few weeks and attempted again and things have been okay since. The surgery has changed my anatomy slightly so there are still positions I have yet to attempt as I am still sensitive and my body still needs time to recover.

For those of you wishing to ask questions then please don’t hesitate to message me and I can answer any questions you may have.

Other Peoples Experiences

A few asked to remain anonymous so no names will be mentioned.

I have to add a big thank you to the men that replied as I found it rather refreshing.

For the majority they all messaged privately and said thumbs up no issues at all.

Quotes From The Men

I had some nerve damage that took some getting over (may still have some, though this may be psychological as much as anything else). The Ken butt itself wasn’t an issue but having more surgery down there was what caused the damage. If anything, I’m more confident after the surgery due to none of the previous issues being there anymore.
I had my Ken butt carried out in my early teenage years. Great care from the team, using a new technique to preserve male function. It worked a treat. Everything started working within six weeks and I now have two grown up children. Ken has never been an issue for me psychologically. Functionality, cysts and healing at the start. Just experienced the odd phantom pains.

Quotes From The Ladies

A few of the ladies made me chuckle. One did reply, “what the hell is sex? “

I was absolutely amazed at the openness of the ladies as sex as a whole can be taboo and everyone goes quiet or in my case blushes when that word is mentioned

Here are a few statements/quotes from the ladies

As you said, just rip the theoretical plaster off and get on getting on! The longer you leave it, the worse you make it in your head. That’s not to say you should bring out the sex-swing on the first go but time is a great healer of all things .. bums included.
My scar tissue tore slightly a few times when having sex post barbie butt. Took quite a long time for that to stop. 8 years on I now have no issues.
Sex was never the same for me. Not many positions.. but we use our imaginations and other ways of working around it.
When you have a barbie butt, I have found that positioning is different now that the large bowel has been removed.

These are just a few of the comments. For all of us each experience is individual after having this kind of surgery carried out.

For those of you wishing to see the other comments then take a look on my Crohnsfighting Facebook or Twitter to read the other comments and see if you find them relatable to yourself.

Many thanks for reading

Louise X

*Disclaimer*

The information given is based on Louise’s personal experience and should not be taken as clinical advice. Each ostomates needs are unique to them and their stoma care routine. Please consult with your Stoma Care Nurse before undertaking any changes to your stoma care routine.

What is Pan-proctocolectomy surgery and why might you need it? Read Louise’s previous blog post here

Louise is using our Platinum Vitamin E range to keep her stoma site healthy. To try a sample, click here.

Read Respond’s Sex & Intimacy booklet