Mental health and my stoma

Writing about my mental health has been a tricky one. Not one I’ve found easy to do by any means, but it is so important to talk about it. Having a stoma is life changing, and navigating your new normal with all the emotions can sometimes trigger your mental health taking a bit of a dip. In this blog I’m going to talk about how it affected me and what steps I have taken and what has helped me along the way. Strap in, this is a long one!

I will start with saying, I’ve struggled. It’s been a wild rollercoaster and one I have wanted to jump off of at times. I have not really suffered in the past with my mental health, but since surgery I have been a different version of myself. Some of the signs I have had are; low mood, anger, flashbacks, tiredness, anxiety and panic attacks.

The first thing that helped me come to terms with this new, slightly traumatised me, was acceptance. I have accepted that for the time being, this is who I am. Who knows if I’ll ever be what I was like before. But I’m ok with that now.

The second thing that I have found helped me, was a focus. I have focused on something that I can control. Try something new that you can do with your stoma, try a new hobby or do something that makes you proud of yourself. Whether that’s going to do an exercise class, or starting a new craft or maybe an online course that you’ve been interested in. A focus takes your mind off negativity.

Talk. Talking is the best. Your best friend, your spouse, your family, a work colleague or even someone within the online stoma community. Whoever you feel you can trust and really open up to, ask them to just listen. Cry into a cuppa with the person you can really talk to, with no filter. Saying how you feel out loud can really help.

Writing. This is one I didn’t realise I would fall into. Two weeks after coming home from hospital, I started my Instagram page. I have found that writing has been so good for me, and it’s amazing to look back and see how far I’ve come since the early days. Having Instagram gave me a reason to write, I don’t share everything I jot down but it’s helped me more than I ever would have thought. You don’t need to have anywhere to share it, it could be a journal or just the notes on your phone.

Professional help. There is no shame in asking for help. Speak to your GP and seek medical advice. There are lots of avenues within the health service that can help us come to terms with stoma life, so reach out and ask for help.

And lastly, remember that your new normal will become easier to cope with, be kind to yourself and give yourself time and love, and only talk to yourself, how you would talk to others.

Love,