When do I tell others about my stoma?

I have been thinking about this question a lot recently… Is there a right time to tell new people about medical history and particularly having a stoma bag?

Everyone is so different, not just our stories but our personalities mean that some will find telling new people easier and others much harder.

My experience

I personally have recently started a new job; I decided I wasn’t going to mention my stoma in my first or second interview because I almost didn’t want to seem like I was going potentially going to plant a seed of doubt in to my future employers mind. In my mind, this may have looked like I may be off sick regularly or adjustments might need to be made for me. I went on to secure the new role which I’m absolutely loving however still around two weeks in I hadn’t told my manager, who I work closely with. Typically my stoma loves to make the most noises possible in quiet office situations and one day I got to the point where I thought I really must just say…

The reaction I got, made me absolutely wish I had said sooner – it was really positive. The words I heard from my new employer were ‘I thought a lot of you already, but I think even more of you now’

The relief I felt once I’d explained was wonderful…

The more I think about the real life scenarios and reflected – actually every single person I have told has always been kind and full of admiration so why did I wait for so long. Yes people will ask questions but only because they are interested; this is part of how and why educating others makes such a difference in the world.

I can really say that the only time I’ve ever had any negative comments are online via messages – however these are very few and far between; I strongly believe that if someone is happy to share negative comments about your stoma bag or your personal journey they clearly don’t have the brains to understand how incredible our bodies are!

So today, if you are deciding to talk to someone new about your stoma – be brave, smile and you are more than likely to get a lovely, positive reaction like me that will make your day.

Charlotte @char.crohnsftwilson