Why it’s okay to take time for yourself

Why it’s okay to take time for yourself

Taking time for yourself can feel near impossible when you are consumed with managing a chronic illness. In many circumstances it means time off work and resting, which ironically would lead people to believe you have lots of time to focus on yourself. Despite this, we all know it simply isn’t true, with the physical and emotional toll of being poorly with no cure in sight. Living with a chronic illness has varying limitations, which can differ dramatically between two people, even two with the same condition. Take myself and my son for instance, both born with Hirschsprungs Disease, being a condition where the ganglion cells which move waste along the intestines don’t function. As a result, the intestine has to be removed and according to how much, a stoma may be formed. My son and I were born with the same amount of bowel not functioning which needed to be removed, completely by chance and not typically expected. As a result, we have led very different paths medically, down to the type of operations and consequences experienced as a result.

The metaphor of the spoon theory, is used as a way of explaining how people with a chronic illness manage their energy levels. Fatigue being the main effect of such conditions can be difficult to explain when trying to carry out everyday tasks. Explaining the expense of such energy in terms of the amount of spoons makes it quantifiable and easy to explain to others. The theory was something I came across when I joined the online community having previously known nothing about. You may read people describing themselves as ‘spoonies’ and it being part of many usernames on different platforms.

In many instances it is an invisible illness which is the cause of needing a stoma. It is extremely pressure inducing to need to keep going and lead as normal a life as possible. Holding down a job, supporting family and friends, and socialising whilst being present in every day society can be draining. Taking time for yourself should be a priority. Here are some suggestions to get stuck into:

Connecting with others – when the people in your day to day life do not have an ostomy, it can be hard for them to relate, no matter how supportive and loving they are. In turn, feelings of not being seen or heard can occur, and in relationships where partners are not supportive it can feel like you are suffocating. It is this very reason that connecting with other ostomates in the community can be a god send. Whether it is through a local group or social media, exchanging messages of relatable situations and warm wishes is a form of self care, and can leave you feeling accepted and heard.

Journaling – journaling can take many forms whether it be in the formal style of diary entries, to the more graphical form of playing with fonts and graphics to express yourself. Whether you treat yourself to a new journal and fill it when and where your heart desires, get into a routine of getting your thoughts, feelings, struggles, and accomplishments for the day. It is a brilliant way to get rid of the thoughts in your head, to make much needed space for your inner peace. When you have made that space, taking time to focus on yourself is that much easier.

Get creative – creative expression is a lovely form of self care and something to do just for you. It could be drawing, colouring, crafting, making music, cooking or anything practical with your hands where you can let go and be expressive just for you. If you have occasions that require gifts sometime soon, it can be teamed with the goal of making things for others. A great sense of reward can be gained from doing things for others. Learning new skills can excel this even further with you tube and bloggers sharing plenty online to get your teeth stuck into. A few ostomates I personally follow make cards, jewellery and have even qualified as a personal trainer!

Escape through fiction – when life gets all too much, getting lost in a podcast, book, or any other form of media is ideal. Something without a screen is even better. I always find myself distracted by things at home like the washing and household chores, which means when I do intend on doing something for myself it never actually happens. Get lost in a good book or a show that genuinely makes you laugh out loud. Or even better take yourself outside, go for a walk or meet a friend for coffee.

Exercise – First hand I can say I have benefited greatly from the endorphins gained from exercising post surgery. It’s a great leap to do so from having major surgery, and can be scary to go from being so cautious to letting go and being free to move your body without fear. Honestly, I don’t think that fear leaves you completely. Saying that, I 100% believe it is worth it, and the strength both physically and mentally can only benefit you.

Until next time,
Rach (@gutsy.mum) x